Vow of Silence Read online

  She shook her head, refusing to listen anymore. Tears openly streamed down her cheeks. Her pain was raw, her grief exposed, and all he wanted to do was take it away, but he was so damn scared he’d only hurt her more if he tried.

  “It’s true,” he pressed, pulling her into his arms and hugging her tight. She tensed, and he expected her to pull away, but several seconds passed, and then slowly, she began to melt in his arms. “I loved you enough to let you go,” he whispered, inhaling the lavender scent of her hair. “I couldn’t make you choose between me and your family. Hannah, I died the day I walked away from you, and now I’m not the same man you once knew.”

  “Who are you, then?” she asked, leaning back just enough to look up, searching his eyes for answers. It felt as if she’d reached into his chest and touched his soul.

  A man that’s no longer good enough for you… But before he could respond, the door behind them squeaked open and Hannah tore herself out of his arms just as a little face appeared in the doorway, and the air left Joe’s lungs with the force of a sucker punch. The boy peering out had Hannah’s eyes…piercing blue and sharply intelligent.

  “Ma?”

  “Yes, Eli, I’m right here.”

  “Who are you?” the boy asked, turning those curious eyes on Joe.

  His gaze flickered back to Hannah with uncertainty, but she seemed at a loss for words. Joe knelt to the boy’s level and held out his hand. “I’m a police officer and an old friend of your ma’s. My name is Josiah Troyer. What’s your name?”

  The boy looked up at him shyly and answered, “Elijah Adams.”

  “Well, Elijah Adams, it is very nice to meet you.”

  “Do you have a police badge?” the little boy asked with a note of interest.

  “I sure do. Right here…” Joe chuckled, moving the flap of his coat aside to reveal his detective’s shield.

  The boy’s eyes lit up.

  “I was just about to ask your ma if I could come inside and talk with her.” Joe also wanted to get another look at Cassie’s room.

  “Is it all right, Ma? Can he come in?”

  “Yes, Eli,” she answered, casting a quick glance at Joe, then back to her son. “Why don’t ya go gather the eggs while I get breakfast started?”

  The little head ducked back inside, and then a moment later the boy burst out the door with a basket in hand.

  “Hey, Eli, do you like dogs?”

  He turned around. “I sure do!”

  “Well, there’s a speckled one running around here somewhere. His name is Dexter, and he likes to play fetch.” Joe stepped off the porch and went over to the car, pulling a red rubber ball from the glove box. “If you see him and you throw this, he’ll be your best friend for life.” He handed the boy the ball, and his little cherub face lit up with excitement.

  “Thanks!” Eli bounded off the steps and raced toward the coop, calling, “Dexter!”

  Joe chuckled at his enthusiasm, trying to remember a time when he had been that little or so full of energy and innocence.

  “He seems like a great kid,” he commented, holding the door open for Hannah to enter.

  “He is…” she said, stepping inside. “That boy and this farm are all I have left.” Hannah stopped at the stairs and glanced back. “I’m goin’ upstairs to get dressed.”

  “Do you mind if I have another look in Cassie’s room now that it’s light out?” he asked, following her toward the stairs.

  “Sure.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  In the light of day, it didn’t take Joe long to execute another search of the room, and round two was turning up the same results—nothing. A name…all he needed was a last name. Like most teenage girls, and Cassie was no exception, they valued their privacy. Joe started with the desk and quickly rifled through her papers. He checked the closet, her dresser, and the nightstand, finding nothing that would give him a hint as to who this Keegan boy was. Growling a frustrated curse, Joe slammed the drawer shut.

  “Find anythin’?”

  Hannah’s soft voice cut into his thoughts as he stepped back and resurveyed the room. What was he missing? It had to be here somewhere—a diary? A love letter? Something. Who the hell was this mystery boyfriend?

  The bed… Joe grabbed the end of the mattress and hoisted it up, checking beneath it. Nothing. “No, no luck,” he grumbled, letting the mattress drop back in place.

  Hannah stepped into the bedroom, the flat heels of her sensible boots echoing on the wood floor as she walked toward him. His attention strayed to the woman dressed in her traditional frock, all that beautiful hair once again hidden away beneath her kapp. Put all together, it was in a stark contrast to the disheveled beauty who’d burst out the door in her nightclothes and bare feet not thirty minutes earlier.

  The urge to strip away all that prim and proper and get down to the heart of the woman hiding beneath that traditional costume was proof he’d been away from here far too long. The sinfully dark places Joe’s thoughts took him would surely condemn him to hell. But damn, just the sight of her on that porch lit him up with such a bolt of lust that his nerve endings were still riding the testosterone high. It’d taken every bit of his control not to kiss her when he’d had her backed up against the house. Had they not been interrupted by her son, he probably would have done it, and that was a dangerous rabbit hole neither one of them should be going down.

  As much as he might wish things were different, this wasn’t his world anymore, and Hannah wasn’t his. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t told himself a thousand times since returning to Lancaster —but that didn’t stop him from wanting her. The fact that he was standing there battling these thoughts in the middle of a murder investigation proved how fast he was falling.

  Hannah was a distraction he couldn’t afford. And yet staying away from her wasn’t an option. He was genuinely concerned for her safety, and he needed her help to expedite this investigation. Giving himself a mental slap of reality, he shut down his dangerous train of thought and moved away from her, going around the other side of the bed. Getting on his hands and knees, he checked the last place he could think to look that hadn’t already been thoroughly searched—underneath the bed.

  “I don’t know what ye’re hopin’ to find that two different police searches would have missed.”

  Wait a minute… “What two police searches?” Joe lifted his head, pinning Hannah with a stare as alarms began sounding off in his head. “I read through Cassie’s file last night and it only mentions one. Who did the second search?” And more importantly, why isn’t it documented in the report?

  “I don’t know. I don’t remember the officer’s name.”

  “Was he alone? Did he leave a card?”

  “Yes, he was alone. No, he didn’t leave a card.”

  “Did he show you his badge? Are you sure it was a cop?” Her expression grew anxious, and she began to fidget. He didn’t mean to scare her, but maybe that was why he couldn’t find anything.

  “He wore a uniform. I didn’t ask to see his badge.”

  Hannah came around the bed to where he knelt, her brisk steps a solid clip until she stopped beside him, where her booted heel echoed hollowly. If he hadn’t been on his hands and knees, ear so close to the floor, he might not have noticed the change in pitch. Joe’s pulse spiked. “Did you hear that?” he asked, hoping he hadn’t imagined it.

  “Hear what?”

  “Step back…” Instead of taking the time to explain, Joe began rapping his knuckles against the floorboards until he found the hollow echo again. “This board…it’s loose.”

  “A lot of them are loose, Josiah. It’s an old house.” Her thoughts were obviously headed in a different direction from his. He pulled a spare nail from his pocket and pried the loose board up. It was just a hunch, but hopefully he was right. The board came up, and he set it aside. There it was… Halle-fucking-lujah…

  “It’s a diary!” she exclaimed, peering over his shoulder. “It has to be Cassie’s�
�”

  Joe reached into the floor and removed the small, leather-bound book, handing it to Hannah. But what he found beneath it surprised him even more.

  “What’s that?” Hannah stepped closer and knelt beside him, peering into the hole.

  “Possibly what your mystery police officer was searching for. It’s a portable charger, and proof that Cassie had a cell phone.”

  …

  “Chief said you wanted to see me?”

  At the delayed knock, Joe glanced up from Cassie’s diary and locked eyes with Deputy Mills. He hovered at the entrance, looking no more excited about being summoned than Joe was to have him in his doorway. He’d requested to see the man three hours ago. If this was the speed and efficiency with which this department functioned, then no wonder this case was such a goddamn mess.

  He glanced at the clock and noted he didn’t have a lot of time before he had to pick up Hannah and head over to the Schwartz’s. He’d hoped to finish going through Cassie’s diary before he left but didn’t think he’d make it. Starting at the last entry, he worked his way backward, but it was taking longer to get through than he’d anticipated. On the plus side, he’d discovered the identity of Cassie’s boyfriend—Keegan Riley from Hershey, Pennsylvania. He was running a search now, hoping with a name like that, he wouldn’t be looking for a needle in a haystack. Shoving his page of notes into the journal, he closed it and set the book aside. Mill’s gaze followed.

  “What you got there, Detective?”

  And because Joe was interested in his reaction, he told him. “Cassie Beiler’s diary.”

  “No shit…” The deputy crossed his arms over his beefy chest and leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. “Where’d you find that?”

  “Her room. You must have missed it when you searched her house.”

  His gaze flickered back to Joe’s, brows pulling a little bit tighter. A heartbeat of hesitation passed, and then, “Must’ve… Was there something you needed, Detective?”

  “Yeah, about three hours ago.”

  “I was on patrol…”

  No, Mills was messing with him. The deputy was sending him a message loud and clear that he didn’t answer to Joe, and he’d grace him with his presence when he was damn good and ready. “Patrol or not, unless you’re on a call, when your superior officer wants to talk to you, you get your ass in this office. The Barber killings are the number one priority of this department. Are we clear?”

  “Crystal…”

  What kind of a shit show was Sheriff Stoltz running here? “I noticed your name isn’t listed on the logbook for Cassie’s home. Yet you just admitted to being there.”

  The deputy shrugged. “When you said ‘you’ I assumed you were referring to the department as a whole. As in ‘us’ and ‘you,’ not me personally.”

  “So, just to be clear then, you’re telling me that you, personally, have never been at the Adams’ farm?”

  “Nope. Is that all you wanted?”

  “No, it’s not,” Joe said, pushing away from his desk to stand. “But it’s all I have time for right now.” He began stacking his files back in the box. “I read over your report on the Abigail Schwartz case.” He opened her file and withdrew a copy of Deputy Mills’s report and slid it across the desk. “It’s sloppy and there are time gaps. Rewrite it and fill them in. You found this girl, and I expect a detailed report of what you observed, what you did, and the steps you took to secure that scene while you were waiting for forensics to arrive. You may also want to include what you were doing outside of your patrol route that morning and how you discovered a body completely obscured from the road.”

  The deputy’s gaze hardened on Joe, and the man stood to his full height, filling the doorway. “Just what the hell are you insinuating?”

  Maybe that six-two, two-hundred-fifty-pound frame intimidated others, but Joe wasn’t impressed. He equaled Deputy Mills in height, and what he lacked in weight Joe more than made up for in skill and muscle. “I’m insinuating you have the literary skills of a sixth grader.” Joe put the last file in the box and closed the lid. “I expect your new report on my desk in the morning.”

  “I don’t work for you, Detective.”

  Joe stacked his laptop on the box and hefted it with one arm. Grabbing his keys, he headed for Mill’s, who was still blocking his doorway and looking downright pissed. Meeting the man eye-to-eye, Joe held his contemptuous glare and growled.

  “The FBI has jurisdiction over the Barber killings, and I am here under their authority, so you absolutely do work for and answer to me when it comes to this case, Deputy. You’ve been fucking with me since the moment I got here, and that stops now. You’re hiding something. Maybe it’s incompetence or maybe it’s more, but I’m going to find out. Let’s hope it’s the former, because if it’s the latter, I promise I’m going to nail your ass to the wall. Now get out of my way.”

  Joe moved forward, forcing him to step aside. Pulling the door closed behind him, he rattled the knob, checking to make sure it was locked, and then walked away. Call it a hunch, but something about Deputy Mills wasn’t adding up, and Joe had learned a long time ago to trust his instincts.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “I really appreciate you doing this, Hannah. I know it isn’t easy for you.”

  “Isn’t easy” was an understatement. She was breaking so many rules just being in the car with Josiah. When Abel came by to pick up Eli, as he often did on the days she worked, Hannah told him she might be home a little later than usual. What she didn’t mention was what she’d be doing or whom she’d be doing it with.

  Deception was as sinful as lying, and guilt plagued her conscience, which was already weighed down by a mountain of regret. But this was for Cassie. She’d do anything in her power to help catch her sister’s killer, even if it meant risking excommunication, and by the time this was over, that may very well be the outcome.

  Rationalize… Rational-lies… That’s what she told herself. And they even sounded honorable when she spun the half-truths in her mind. But God saw her heart, and there was nothing pure or noble about what Josiah was stirring inside her. He was here to catch her sister’s killer… Yet knowing that he alone could give her the closure she needed to move on made it harder to hold onto the anger she’d survived on for the last eight years.

  What Josiah said this morning about leaving for her sake… It didn’t make sense, but the conviction in his voice and the anger blazing in his eyes confirmed he believed it. But if he loved her as much as he claimed, then why did he leave?

  “Thank ya for leaving Dexter with Eli today.” Those two had become fast friends. Hannah couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her son smile so much. For the first time in months he’d laughed and played like a normal little boy. She’d been at a loss to help him, and then unexpectedly Josiah had stepped back into her life bearing the one thing that seemed to break through her son’s grief. “This is the happiest I’ve seen him in months.”

  “I’m glad he could help. If you think it would make things better for Eli, Dex can stay with you while I’m here. It’ll keep me from hauling him around so much. I’m sure he’ll have more fun hanging out with your son.”

  While I’m here… The reminder that he’d be leaving soon bothered her more than she wanted to admit. It wasn’t like she was expecting him to stay. But when they left, would a little boy’s heart become as broken as his mother’s would surely be? “Thank ya. That’s very kind of ya to offer. How long do ya expect to be here?”

  When Joe glanced at her, confliction reflected in his eyes, but he turned his attention back to the road, and she wondered if it hadn’t been wishful thinking. “I’m not sure. I guess there’s a lot of things that will depend on. I’m just getting started with this investigation, but then you never know when it’ll break.”

  “I’m afraid I’m not goin’ to be as much help as ya think I am.”

  “You will. These people trust you, Hannah.” Josiah reached over and plac
ed his hand on top of hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze that sent little tingles of electricity racing up her arm. “You can relate to what they’re going through, and at the very least, I think having you there will be a comfort for them. Because of my situation, they may not speak to me directly, but they can avoid breaking the rules of shunning if they talk to you. I think it’s my best chance at getting the Schwartz’s to open up to me about Abby.”

  Well, when he put it like that, it made sense. She just hoped he was right.

  “I discovered the last name of Cassie’s boyfriend this afternoon.”

  “Ya did?” She glanced at him, and quickly realized her mistake when butterflies took flight in her stomach. Every so often, she’d get the faintest hint of his clean, masculine scent. It made her want to take deeper breaths in hope of catching it again, and she found herself leaning just a little closer. Her fingers itched to touch the smooth skin over his cheeks, to trace all those definable features that made him so handsome—the hard, masculine angles of his face, the square set of his jaw, the fullness of his lips…

  What would it feel like to have them touch hers? She’d never been kissed without the scrape of a man’s beard against her skin before. A little rush of heat coursed through her veins at the thought, burning her cheeks and pooling low in her belly. Embarrassed by her illicit thoughts, she cast her gaze back into her lap and nervously picked at a loose thread on her apron. There had been a time she would have boldly closed the space between them and found out. But she wasn’t that woman anymore—and Josiah wasn’t hers to be kissing. She’d been crammed into the mold of a demure Amish woman for so long, she didn’t know who she was anymore.

  “His name is Keegan Riley. Thankfully, that’s not a common name. I ran a check on all the Keegan Riley’s in a one-hundred-mile radius and got two hits. One guy is a twenty-one-year-old hockey player at Penn State, and the other is a senior at Hershey High. Considering Cassie was seventeen, I’m hoping our guy is the high school student.”