Vow of Silence Read online

  “Do ya regret it, Josiah? Do ya regret walkin’ away?”

  He exhaled a deep breath. “Every single day. But only because I didn’t take you with me.”

  “Would ya this time? If I asked ya to? Would ya take Eli and me with ya?”

  The car slowed to a crawl and then turned down her driveway. Josiah pulled to a stop in front of her house, parked the car, and shut off the engine. When he shifted in the seat to face her, Hannah’s heart thundered inside her chest. What would she do if he told her no?

  Josiah took her hand in both of his and gently stroked his thumb along the underside of her wrist. Just that simple touch ignited a spark deep inside her, the stirring of something powerful.

  “I would take you with me… Honestly, since the day I returned, I’ve been asking myself how I was going to find the strength to let you go again.”

  A knock sounded on the glass behind her, and Hannah yelped. Josiah reacted so fast, she didn’t realize he’d moved until a gun was in his hand, the barrel aimed over her shoulder, pointing at the window. She pressed her back against the seat, trying to put as much space between her and the weapon as possible. Adrenaline sent her heart rioting, her breath stalling in her lungs as Josiah lowered the glass. Slowly, she turned her head to see who was standing outside the door.

  “You gonna shoot me then, Detective?”

  “Saul…?” Relief swept over her, and Hannah’s lungs began working again.

  “What the hell are you doing here at two o’clock in the morning?” Josiah snapped. Muttering a curse under his breath, he lowered his gun and stashed it behind his back. He jumped out of the car and slammed the door, rounding it to stand toe-to-toe with Saul.

  She hadn’t realized how similar they were in size.

  “I was gone all day and just got back. Guess a horse ‘n buggy takes a little longer than your fancy car. I stopped by to care for the animals.”

  “Where were you today? Avoiding forensics?”

  “It’s none of yer business, Detective. I don’t answer to ya.” Saul leaned down to speak with Hannah through the parted glass. “Bonny threw a shoe. Best not use her until the farrier comes out. Will ya need a ride to work tomorrow?”

  “No, she won’t,” Josiah cut in before she could respond. “I’ll take her. In fact, I’ve got the animals covered, too. Your services are no longer needed around here.”

  Saul’s expression hardened, anger glinting in his dark brown eyes. “Can I have a word with ya, Detective? In private please.”

  They stepped away from the car, but not so far that Hannah couldn’t hear their brief exchange.

  “Hannah’s a good woman, Detective Troyer. All she wants is to see her little sister’s killer brought to justice. If yer not careful, yer gonna get that woman shunned.”

  “Where were you the night Abby Schwartz disappeared?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You were working at the Schwartz farm, and you left shortly after she did. Where did you go? Did you follow her? Maybe waiting for her in a corn maze? If I were you, I’d be less concerned with Hannah’s social status and a little more concerned with your alibi. Because you’re wrong, Mr. Heinz—you surely will be answering to me. An officer will be picking you up at eight a.m. tomorrow morning with a court order to obtain your DNA, and if you’re not there, I will personally arrest you for obstruction of justice. Now, have a good night.”

  Josiah walked away from Saul and headed back to the car. Opening Hannah’s door, he held out his hand. “Come on, let’s get you inside. It’s late.”

  …

  “After talkin’ to Cassie’s boyfriend tonight, do ya really think Saul Heinz could be the killer?” Hannah set a cup of tea in front of Josiah and took the chair across from him.

  He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “I don’t know. He doesn’t exactly fit Samantha Roth’s profile, but there are too many coincidences for me to ignore the possibility. And there’s something about Heinz that rubs me wrong. It’s just a feeling I get from him.”

  “And that feelin’ wouldn’t have anythin’ to do with ya bein’ jealous because ya know he’s sweet on me, would it?”

  He held her inquisitive stare and shook his head. “I’m a professional, Hannah. I don’t let my personal feelings sway an investigation.”

  “Who is Samantha Roth?”

  “She’s an FBI profiler and analyst who’s working this case with me.”

  “Is she pretty?”

  Josiah laughed. “Now who’s the jealous one?”

  “Avoidin’ answerin’ the question, Detective?”

  His throaty chuckle rolled through her like a caress. “She’s pretty, but she’s not my type.”

  “Hmm…” Hannah took a sip of tea before continuing. “And what type is that?”

  “I think you know.” His heated gaze settled on her across the table. “Or would you like me to get you a mirror?”

  “I don’t recall ya bein’ so silver-tongued, Josiah Troyer. So, what’s next with the case?” she asked, changing the conversation to a safer topic.

  “Well, after talking to Keegan Riley, I’ve got a whole other avenue of leads to chase down. Hopefully something will pan out. With Cassie having a social media presence, our killer could be anyone. For all I know, I’m chasing my fucking tail right now.”

  She studied him from across the table—the tight draw of his brows, and shadows beneath his eyes, the lines of tension bracketing his mouth… “Ye’re tired, Josiah. Ya need some rest. When was the last time ya slept?”

  “I don’t know. An hour or two last night.”

  “Do you always do this to yourself?”

  “Do what?”

  “Run yourself into the ground with these cases?”

  “I do what needs to be done. There will be plenty of time to rest when I’m dead. I should get out to the barn, let you get some sleep.” He abruptly stood and headed for the door, commenting as he passed, “I’m not the only one who looks exhausted.”

  “Josiah, wait…” Hannah shot out of her chair and darted after him. They reached the door at the same time, and she caught his arm, tugging him to stop. “You don’t have to stay in the barn.”

  His gaze slowly dragged over her; the hunger in his eyes made goose bumps prickle her flesh.

  “I think…maybe I should.”

  There was a hint of warning in his tone Hannah knew she should heed, but then, she’d never been one to follow the rules where this man was concerned. Exhaling a sigh, she forced the confession from her lips, praying the good Lord didn’t strike her down right where she stood. “I want you to stay with me. I want…to be with you.”

  Hannah didn’t wait for him to respond or to tell her all the reasons why this was a bad idea. Before her nerves failed her, she took his hand and led him toward the stairs. Considering the way last night ended, she was surprised he gave her no resistance. Perhaps he was just as tired of fighting this as she was. She couldn’t know the compilation of his thoughts, but she was set on hers, and not even the threat of excommunication could keep her from the only man she’d ever wanted. Not anymore.

  She led him into her room and lit the lamp on the nightstand. He stayed still as she approached, energy and anticipation crackling in the air. Hannah hoped he wouldn’t notice her hands shaking as she reached up and slowly began to unfasten the buttons of his shirt. Each one revealed more of his chest and broad shoulders. Her eyes followed the rigid muscles down his stomach. She sensed him watching her but couldn’t drag her eyes off the trail of dark hair descending from his naval into his jeans.

  “I’ve never seen a man completely naked before,” she confessed, her cheeks burning. But this was Josiah, she didn’t have to pretend with him. They’d always been honest with each other—until the day he’d left her.

  Hannah’s trembling fingers faltered at the memory, and she forced it from her mind. That was the past…

  “Not even your husband?”

  Hannah shook he
r head. “No. It wasn’t like that between us. It wasn’t very…pleasurable for me.”

  His last button came undone, and she slowly slid her hands over his pecs, then up to his shoulders, bringing his shirt down his arms, thick with corded muscles. When it fell to the floor, he reached up and caught her chin, tipping it up so he could meet her eyes.

  “It won’t be like that with us, Hannah. I promise.”

  His husky voice was like a caress, touching places she’d only ever wanted this man. “Can I just…” Her cheeks heated and she dropped her gaze.

  “What is it, Hannah? There’s nothing you could ask that I would deny you. Just tell me what you want.”

  “I want to…” She couldn’t say it, but Josiah was surprisingly intuitive.

  “You want to touch me, don’t you?”

  She nodded.

  “You want to look at me?”

  She nodded again.

  “Hannah, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I fully intend to do the same to you.”

  Her gaze darted up at his confession, her nerves doing flip-flops in her stomach. She’d never bared herself to a man before, and to do so for one as worldly and experienced as Josiah made her anxious. She would never measure up. When she reached for him, he stopped her with a raised hand.

  “Wait a minute.” He reached behind his back, muscles flexing and rolling beneath his smooth, tanned skin as he pulled out his gun and set it on the nightstand. Then he unclipped his badge and laid it beside his weapon. He reached into his pocket and removed his cell phone and wallet, then dropped his hands to his waist and unfastened the button of his jeans.

  Her gaze dropped to the divots of muscle near his hips. A flush of heat swept over her as she watched this beautiful man unabashedly undress in front of her. Her heart raced as he slowly dragged his zipper down. His erection strained against the waistband of his briefs, which sat low on his hips. She’d never seen underclothes that looked like this. The black material hugged his body like a second-skin, covering several inches of his thick, muscular legs.

  He watched her watching him as his thumbs hooked that elastic band and pushed it down past his thighs. His length sprang free, and her breath caught in an audible gasp. A rod of flesh-covered steel. He was larger than she’d been expecting, thicker, longer… Surely the good Lord had never fashioned a body more magnificently designed than this.

  He lifted a leg out of his pants, and then the other, stepping forward completely naked. Every inch of him was hard muscle and sculpted lines. He stood before her, letting her look her fill, but truly she didn’t think she could ever get enough of him.

  “Ye’re beautiful…” she whispered in awe.

  His throaty chuckle was deep and rough. Josiah took her hands and placed them on his chest. “Go ahead, Hannah, touch me…”

  He was a feast to her senses. She smoothed her fingertips over every solid peak and plane. He held perfectly still as she walked a slow circle around him, tracing the lines of his shoulder blades, down his spine. When she ended back where she began, Hannah let her hands take the same path they’d attempted last night. Her fingertips trailed over the divots of muscle at his hips, and he flinched. She didn’t recall him being ticklish but enjoyed watching his response to her touch. This time, he didn’t stop her when she glided her palm down the length of his manhood.

  When her fingers curled around his shaft, it bucked in her hand, startling her. She gasped in surprise and noticed a drop of liquid beading the tip. She slowly stroked her hand up and more moisture escaped. When she swept her thumb through the wetness, he hissed a sharp breath and a sharper curse.

  “Did I do something wrong?”

  “Nein…”

  She liked the familiar sound of their language on his tongue. His breaths quickened, and when she chanced a glance up, tension bracketed the hard set of his jaw. His eyes were closed, head tipped back, exposing the thick powerful cords in his throat.

  “Ye’re shakin’…” As she spoke, another small tremor shivered through his powerful body.

  “I’m trying not to come.”

  She didn’t understand this word, and it took her a moment of putting it into context before she could interpret his meaning. “Oh… Already?” Maybe this was the way of it with all men, then.

  At her surprised response, Josiah opened his eyes and trained that beautiful multi-colored stare on her. “It’s been a while.” An edge of defense tempered his tone, as if her query had bruised his masculine pride. “And it’s you… Hannah, I’ve wanted you as long as I can remember.” His voice was a rough whisper.

  “I’m scared I’m gonna disappoint ya,” she confessed, glancing away with embarrassment.

  “Not possible.” He took her chin, guiding it up, his eyes intently holding hers. “You could never disappoint me.”

  “I don’t know anythin’ about pleasin’ a man.”

  “Well, considering I’m about to lose control, I’d say you’re off to a pretty great start.” He reached for the tail of her braid and pulled the bobby pins from the end. Taking his time to slowly unbraid her hair, he worked his fingers through the length until it hung loose over her shoulder. “Your hair is beautiful. You don’t know how many times I relived that day near the stream. How often I dreamed of tangling my hands into it, wrapping the length around my fist as you—” He abruptly stopped, shaking his head as if clearing the thought from his mind.

  As I what? “What do ya wish I’d do to ya?” She wanted to know, wanted to please him.

  His uncertainty to respond made her pulse quicken with anticipation. He met her gaze steadily, his voice a rough rasp, “As you went to your knees…”

  Why would he want her there? And why would he be hesitant to tell her that? With her gaze locked on his, she held his stare and slowly knelt on the floor. The surprise in his eyes and the sudden flare of lust encouraged and emboldened her. “What now?”

  When his gaze dropped to her lips and then shifted to his jutting erection, hers followed and Hannah gasped as understanding dawned. No…she misunderstood. Josiah was not telling her he wanted that part of him in her mouth. Heat flooded her cheeks at the very thought. Even as the scandalous idea shamed her, there was a wanton part of her that wondered what it would be like to run her tongue over that glistening crown. What he would taste like?

  Surely things like this were not done, and she was a sinful woman for even considering it.

  Josiah’s hand tangled into her hair, and the subtle tug excited her. Was this his fantasy? Her gaze fell to his erection, studying the proud, thick length as she tried to work up the courage to do something she’d never considered before. It wasn’t just to please him, though she desperately wanted to. A part of her desired to do this. She wanted to break her chains of conformity and experience what she’d been missing for the last eight years.

  She moistened her bottom lip with the tip of her tongue, a pained growl rumbled in Josiah’s chest as another bead of moisture pearled the head of his shaft. Suddenly his hands were under her arms. He muttered a curse as he dragged her to her feet, his mouth coming down on hers so hard and consuming, it stole her breath.

  His hand cupped the back of her head, fingers threading into her hair. His tongue plundered her mouth, and she returned his kiss with mirrored urgency—tangling then retreating, she pursued him, volleying the kiss. His fingers curled, tightening his grip and another thrill swept through her. He growled his approval as her tongue entered his mouth. A jolt of desire clenched in her core and she gasped in pleasure when he sucked the tip of her tongue. Mercy, she loved the way he kissed. She’d never imagined it could be this…intense.

  She was barely aware of his hands moving to the hem of her sweater and pulling her top up. “You would have done it, wouldn’t you?” he rasped, tugging her top over her head. “Taken me into your mouth…” Before she could respond, he was kissing her senseless. “You make me lose control, Hannah. The things I want to do to you…”

  When her sweater hit the
floor, she had a vague awareness of modesty. Those ingrained ideologies telling her this was wrong niggled at her conscience. But the pleasure she experienced from Josiah’s touch muted those voices until they were a distant echo next to the need he ignited inside her.

  His hand was at her back, and her bra unclasped. Before she realized it, she was bare from the waist up. He cupped her heavy breasts, the heat of his palms blazing her sensitive nipples and she gasped at the current of pleasure shooting between her legs. This sensation was new and dizzying as Josiah’s touch overwhelmed her.

  “Josiah, wait…” she panted. “I can’t breathe…”

  He jerked back, as if he’d startled himself at his sudden loss of control and muttered a curse as he ran a shaking hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “You didn’t scare me. It was just happenin’ so fast. I got a little overwhelmed.”

  “You test my control. I’ve never made love to a woman before. It’s always just been…” he seemed at a loss words to explain.

  “Fucking…?” she interjected.

  The corner of his mouth curled at her use of the word, an amused chuckle rumbling in his chest. “Yeah… Just fucking.”

  “Is there a difference?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I tell you somethin’?”

  “Anything.”

  “When ya touch me, I feel things I’ve never felt before. It’s powerful and overwhelmin’. I don’t know what it’s like to…come.” She used his foreign slang, finding it easier to speak his language in such sensitive matters than her own.

  If he’d tried to hide his shocked expression, he failed.

  Hannah continued before she lost her nerve. “I think there might be somethin’ wrong with me.”

  “Hannah, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And I promise, by the time this night is over, you will definitely experience what it’s like to come—more than once.”

  His vow sent a thrill through her. He took another step back, getting a good look at her for the first time. As his hungry gaze devoured her, Hannah’s arm instinctively rose to cover her breasts. “Nein…bedecke dich nicht.” He slowly reached for her hand and repeated in English, “No…don’t cover yourself.”